Which shouldn’t be surprising, of course.
The group comprises four seasoned pros bent on re-branding themselves as a B-Team power-pop Traveling Wilburys. It says something when your presumed charisma-bearer is the Kid Who Looked Like A Cute Eighth Grade Girl in Hanson 12 years ago. This is a group of guys proud to be session-level, okay with making the musical equivalent of
these posters. Classy, vaguely hip I suppose, definitely “catchy,” if you get caught staring at it, but mainly made to match the drapes. Adam Schlesinger (Ivy, Fountains of Wayne), Bun E. Carlos (Cheap Trick), Taylor Hanson (Hanson) and Jimmy Iha (Smashing Pumpkins). Four dudes that make you go, “oh hey yeah, that guy.” Or in the case of Schlesinger, whom I resent, it’s “that’s who the New Pornographers remind me of, that band Fountains of Wayne.” No, imaginary person, that’s
not how things work, your ears are blind. But even with all that, I have an admission: I have that exact poster hanging in my kitchen. It’s framed and everything, and it came free when I bought my furniture set 8 years ago. I probably won’t listen to Tinted Windows when I want to party, or “enjoy music,” or drive the car. I’ll probably listen to Tinted Windows when I want to drive the car like I’m in a car commercial.
But here’s a fun game they’ve made me think of: shake Tinted Windows’ lineup until the actual people fall out of it, and just their qualifications remain. Then fill in those qualifications with other people who have the same, or pretty close to the same. Here are the qualifications:
1. Redeemable former boy-band member from the late 90s
2. Sideman from influential 90s alt-rock band
3. Reliable jingle factory who does movie scores and stuff but who’s had a big hit
4. Sorta-unknown component to legendary power-pop group
And here is my ideal Tinted Windows, then:
1. JC Chasez (justification) (and because picking Justin Timberlake is cheating)
2. Jimmy Chamberlain (because he needs a gig bad, and also because we need a drummer)
3. Danny Elfman (I mean, come on [and so what if it only hit #45]) (runners up: Mark Mothersbaugh, Matthew Sweet [sorta])
4. Benjamin Orr (totally fair)
1. Rich Cronin from LFO (Dude survived cancer, whilst being a cancer. Gotta give him props.)
2. Dean DeLeo (cause he rules)
3. Nathan Larson (Not sure how big any of his “hits” were, but that’s tough criteria anyway. Let’s call his biggest hit marrying Nina Persson)
4. Colin Moulding (Benjamin Orr is the best though.)
Nice picks, Michael!