Unfortunate Ponytail et al

Lil' Wayne/Ja Rule "Uh Oh" There are about 2,000 blog posts about it right now, but Lil' Wayne apparently played somewhere in NYC last night, looked strung-out but rocked it, and then got busted for weapons/drug possession after the cops who he berated verbally during his act pulled over his tourbus. Tom Status says he could be facing 3 years, and I share his trepidation about any interruption to this ridiculous streak he's on right now. On the other hand, I've been thinking the past couple days (more detailed post to come later) about the old Rap="Black CNN" thing, and how that dyad (which might be attributable to Chuck D but has become as apocryphal as the "Velvet Underground only sold 1,000 albums" thing is to indie) has lost any small meaning it once had now that rap has also become the Black, White and Latino/a cable TV, and radio, and non-cable TV, and ring tone and OS login chime and whatever else. But more specifically, I'm interested in how Lil' Wayne, and to a different degree R. Kelly, is representing the change in rap (and R&B, hip-hop culture in general) from CNN to, variously, Youtube posts, text-messages, blog post, or whatever clipped, impulsive, and prolific form of micro-communication you'd like to use to fill in the blank. The technology has taken over the content: Double Up's skanky, diaristic vignettes that often sound like horny voicemail messages, Weezy's (and Kelly's) prolificacy and "here's what I'm thinking this second, now here 's what I'm thinking the next second" form. Not "Rap 2.0", but something. So even if he hits the clink for a minute, I wouldn't be surprised to see Wayne release a few mixtapes with vocals recorded on public phones. Okay, a little surprised.

The video, despite Ja Rule's presence within same, is pretty good, in a rap-conventional sort of way. I like the non-mirrored, non-fish-eyed Hype Williams style (um, low angles, multiple locations, strict focus on the artists). Oh yeah, Ja got arrested too. Ja is bad luck. (via Nah Right)



Kirsten Ketsjer "The Bridge" (mp3) Like a really young Dylan (or a Danish girl who sings with upturned syllables, either way) and something resembling "What Goes On" behind several sheets of wax paper. A section of dissonant skronk, then placid nature sounds. It's eleven minutes long. Reviewed/documented further/better over at Paper Thin Walls.

Caribou "She's the One" (mp3) Man, is there a better accompaniment to Panda Bear's Person Pitch for sun-scorched stoners than Andorra? And will the sun-scorched stoner demographic become the new trendy indie target? Please say yes. Maybe John from Cincinnati came at just the right time. (Domino, 2007 | pre-order)

Black Moth Super Rainbow "When the Sun Grows On Your Tongue" (mp3) Because it means that groups like BMSR will have their music used for VW commercials. Or at least a Butchie smack fix sequence. (Graveface, 2007 | myspace)

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(from a while ago)

Breakaway Pants

[15:44] marathonpacks: this piece i'm working on will turn Pitchfork into Hitchfork
[15:45] Matthew!: like, a zine about the movie Hitch?
[15:45] Matthew!: starring Will Smith?
[15:45] marathonpacks: and our favorite funnyman Kevin James
[15:45] marathonpacks: our fave zaftig humourist Kevin James
[15:46] Matthew!: hey, I look just like Kevin James
[15:46] Matthew!: people tell me that all the time
[15:46] Matthew!: "you look like that hilarious Kevin James"
[15:47] Matthew!: wait wait wait
[15:47] Matthew!: you mean the guy who made Clerks, right?
[15:47] marathonpacks: no, that's Kevin Smith, re-re.
[15:47] Matthew!: I look just like Kevin James.
[15:47] marathonpacks: Kevin James is the irascible zaftig humourist from movies such as Hitch
[15:47] marathonpacks: and shows such as "king of queens"
[15:47] Matthew!: yeah, I look just like him.
[15:48] Matthew!: and I live in Queens
[15:48] marathonpacks: and Comedy Central specials such as "kevin james' comedy central special"
[15:48] Matthew!: people always tell me that I look exactly like the guy in Kevin James' Comedy Central Special
[15:48] Matthew!: including my mom
[15:48] marathonpacks: oh, that guy
[15:49] marathonpacks: the guy that does the hilarious bit about buying greeting cards
[15:49] Matthew!: yeah we look very much alike
[15:49] marathonpacks: it's so true. men are so cold and feelingless
[15:49] marathonpacks: especially when viewed comically looking for greeting cards.
[15:50] marathonpacks: the greeting card search is a device to illuminate mens' romantic impotence, especially their impotence re: buying greeting cards.
[15:50] Matthew!: I'm not impotent
[15:50] marathonpacks: i've heard you can hit a stop sign from 10 feet
[15:50] Matthew!: no, that's not true
[15:51] Matthew!: let's put it this way, okay?
[15:51] Matthew!: if my penis was inside of a woman's vagina, I'm reasonably certain that I could impregnate her
[15:51] marathonpacks: with your ejaculate
[15:51] Matthew!: yes
[15:52] marathonpacks: which contains 1/2 baby
[15:52] Matthew!: provided there are no barriers or baby-killing drugs
[15:52] marathonpacks: you've got half-baby in your balls right now
[15:52] marathonpacks: just waiting
[15:52] marathonpacks: queued up
[15:53] Matthew!: ready to go
[15:53] Matthew!: they're all sitting on a bench in breakaway pants
[15:53] marathonpacks: "whatchu want i should do now, coach?", they say.
[15:54] Matthew!: patience
[15:54] marathonpacks: "hold on, chief. your turn's gonna come."
[15:54] marathonpacks: "come"
[15:54] Matthew!: omg I just caught that
[15:54] Matthew!: you're hilarious
[15:54] Matthew!: you're quite a wordsmith
[15:54] marathonpacks: like willsmith
[15:54] Matthew!: yeah did you know his given name is Word
[15:55] Matthew!: but he decided that it was inappropriate as a name for a rapper?
[15:55] marathonpacks: his xian name
[15:55] Matthew!: no, he is black, not Asian
[15:55] marathonpacks: he was named by the dudes from Cameo
[15:55] marathonpacks: his godparents in the electro-funk band Cameo
[15:56] Matthew!: he chose the name Will because he loves the movie Triumph Of The Will[15:56] marathonpacks: he's a Riefenstahl freak
[15:56] Matthew!: yeah
[15:56] Matthew!: most of his first album is about Leni
[15:56] Matthew!: "Parents Just Don't Understand"
[15:57] Matthew!: fun fact: Leni's parents did not understand
[15:56] marathonpacks: his masters' thesis was on the connection between big rap shows and hitler's speeches
[15:57] marathonpacks: "I Think I Can Beat Poland"
[15:57] marathonpacks: Leni only wanted Adidas, but her parents bought her Zips.
[15:58] Matthew!: he put in anachronisms to appeal to the marketplace
[15:58] marathonpacks: he's savvy that way
[15:58] Matthew!: yeah
[15:58] marathonpacks: he and THEODOR ADORNO
[15:58] Matthew!: Adorno was a terrible rapper
[15:58] marathonpacks: nothing rhymes with adorno
[15:59] marathonpacks: except "porno"
[15:59] Matthew!: Adorno hated everything
[15:59] marathonpacks: Adorno was the original DMX
[15:59] marathonpacks: always showing up late for everything
[15:59] marathonpacks: and critiquing mass culture
[15:59] Matthew!: DMX stands for Adorno's My Dog. (DMX has trouble spelling.)
[16:00] marathonpacks: i thought it meant Dope Marxist No. 10
[16:00] Matthew!: oh right
[16:00] marathonpacks: both theories hold water
[16:01] Matthew!: it's true
[16:01] Matthew!: no one really knows
[16:01] Matthew!: not even DMX
[16:01] Matthew!: DMX forgets a lot of things

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Okay, screw it. If I'm posting pasted IM conversations, I might as well post this. I digitized it a year or so ago, Youtubed it, and then forgot. But here it is. Self-explanatory, but a few things to watch out for:

1. This was my sophmore year in college--1997-ish. Unfortunate ponytail.
2. They didn't show me drinking orange juice with my elbows bent in like that, but only two warm-up things I did.
3. I can't do that anymore.
4. Because it's Youtube, over 23,000 people have watched, and a ridiculous argument broke out in the comments section.