“Love Monkey” Throws Its Own Crap at Rock Fans

It’s been widely reported that CBS’s “Love Monkey” is not much more than a mutual hand-job between the network and Sony/BMG—Teddy Geiger (his Sony debut drops in February, y’all!) as the new Beck, Franz Ferdinand’s “Do You Want To” (distributed stateside by Sony) popping up in the background of a club scene, and main character Tom giving as a present The Essential Bob Dylan (the entire Essential series was started by, yes, Sony). This is obviously nothing new—product placement has been ingrained in television’s DNA since its inception. In “Love Monkey”, though, it leads to the bizarre, hilarious irony of main character Tom leaving major label Goliath Records (get it?) to go break him some “real” artists, not the lip-syncing Ashlee Simpson-types (in his own words) favored by his current employer, to subsequently go ga-ga over “Wayne” (Geiger), a corporate product if there ever was one, and, it should be noted, a lip-syncing fool during his first appearance on camera. This crucial disconnect between corporate profit margins and Tom’s music cred could, of course, be a meta-ironic self-critique on the part of CBS and Sony/BMG—poking fun at themselves and the way multi-national entertainment have stifled artistic creativity and limited market access to all but their own product. Yeah, no. With astounding obliviousness, CBS’ “Love Monkey” website actively promotes Teddy.

If “Love Monkey” offers anything to critique, it’s not the fact that its source material is the sub-sub-Hornby book of the same name or the fact that talented co-star Larenz Tate, as “potent black guy”, needs to jump ship, quickly. The most important aspect of the show has everything to do with the manner in which it illuminates the intersection between rock and roll’s popular canon (determined by Jann Wenner and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame) and the massive entertainment conglomerates that produce it. In the Variety piece, CBS Marketing guru (and huge Test Icicles fan) George Schweitzer informs us of the show’s purpose: “It’s part of our new look. The net is getting younger, and this is a show that has appeal in many different groups”. All well and good, but “Love Monkey” doesn’t have the niche capacity of a show like “The O.C.”, which, because it’s on Fox, can take chances with lesser-known bands, thereby actually giving it some measure of credibility. So—and this is great—what we get to witness first-hand is the result of two remarkably out-of-touch corporations attempting to appeal to the youngsters, and failing.

While there are thousands of pretty good bands languishing in obscurity probably eager to slap on some pancake and rub elbows with original indie-yuppie (and co-producer) Nic Harcourt, the producers and writers of “Love Monkey” play it financially safe with Geiger, whose musical credibility is about as believable as the apartments in “Friends” are affordable. But it’s not just the guest spots that taint the show’s (and, by association, Tom’s) tastes, it’s the musical references mentioned. Any music geek knows, the sign of a true aficionado is not what lies in his/her collection, but what names they can drop on the spot—James Murphy’s now legendary “Losing My Edge” serving as the ultimate example. But when Tom stands up and counters his boss’ fatwa against musical authenticity during the staff meeting, the show’s true colors become obvious. He mentions—ready for these?—The Beatles, Dylan, The Clash and Aretha Franklin. Let’s review: Pop? Check. “Meaning?” Check. Vitriol? Check. Black Soul-Person? Check. (A month later, and you know Wilson Pickett would have been in there). Not that these artists, otherwise known as the Mount Rushmore of rock for tuxedoed label execs, aren’t great. Of course they are. But they’re mentioned during Tom’s rant not because of their musical accomplishments as much as their untouchable standing as cultural icons. They’re being manipulated in much the same way that Ray Charles was twenty years ago on “Who’s the Boss”, or Stevie Wonder was on “The Cosby Show”, or even, yes, The Beach Boys were on “Full House”. Or the Who by Hummer/H2. Or Led Zeppelin by Cadillac. Instead of choosing the show’s music based on its thematic parallels to the quintessentially male dilemmas of relationship selfishness and/or commitment-phobia, like High Fidelity (which “Monkey” shamelessly rips) they’ve been selected based on careful consideration of the broadest appeal possible—which, by the way, makes Tom look like a vanilla Rolling Clone. This, again, is nothing new for commercial television. But it stands as Tom’s “means of expression” (Boston Globe) as much as a promo cut-out in a record store.

Most importantly, there’s no way that any of the artists mentioned have any resonance whatsoever to any “youth” market CBS or Sony could be aiming toward. It’s as clunky an attempt in that regard as Jason Priestley’s referral to Tori Amos as “vagina music” is to appeal to the Maxim crowd. Again, I should mention that there’s nothing out of the ordinary here, but the fact that CBS and Sony/BMG are recycling the collective memories of music fans and repurposing them as composite bait for the 18-34 demographic is, well, fucked up. Let me explain. I have (and I know you do too, if you’ve read this far) very distinct and specific memories of The Beatles, Bob Dylan, The Clash and Aretha Franklin, and myriad reasons why I like some things (“White Man in Hammersmith Palais”, Aretha Live at the Fillmore West, the “aahhh” moment before the second chorus in “Ticket to Ride”, John Wesley Harding) and dislike others (Cut the Crap, “Freeway of Love”, Shot of Love, “Honey Pie”). But that doesn’t matter to CBS, Sony/BMG, and their cross-eyed step-child “Love Monkey”, who bundle everything together under the rubric of “classic”. If I buy Teddy Geiger’s new single “Love is a Marathon” (hey, Sony, I’m waiting for an mp3–see the name of the blog?), I’ve done my job as a viewer/consumer. While nothing I’ve mentioned here should strike any reader as new, this cross-promotional attack by the two corporations is definitely novel. And that’s what passes for good as far as network television and major-label distribution is concerned. A gimmicky method to attract viewers or listeners marks a product as innovative, regardless of content. Most times, it’s all that’s needed.

Filed under: canon creation  CBS  High Fidelity  Love Monkey  me ranting about stuff  Nick Hornby  selling culture  synergy  TV